Magnum P.I. (2018) First Impressions

“Higgins offering to help? Normally I’d be skeptical, but that little voice inside my head was saying she might actually be worried about me.”

Can we all agree this show would be better with the mustache? Magnum P.I. does not make a good first impression. The pilot, I Saw the Sun Rise, actually seems to go out of its way to make you believe you will be dealing with a schlocky piece of garbage like the pilot of the MacGyver reboot. It’s not THAT bad. It’s not good though. There is a strong sense that the show’s quite impressed with itself for simply being Magnum P.I. and, while the dialogue may not be as cheesy as the aforementioned MacGyver pilot, that simply means it succeeded in clearing the lowest of all possible bars. I can’t personally testify as to the quality of the original series, but, it would be a fair assessment to say this is a pretty dumb show. It’s certainly possible for a stupid show to still be entertaining, particularly if it revels in its silly, stupid nature, but Magnum just ends up feeling limp and generic. If it was going to be this dumb, the least it could do is have the mustache.

The opening four minutes go well beyond straining credibility as events kick off with a high altitude orbital drop which allows Magnum to infiltrate North Korea to extract a scientist only to have plans get shifted on him forcing him into a high speed car chase through forests culminating in him using a pistol to take out an armored truck. This turns out to be a sensational account from a book based on Magnum and his friends’ time in military service, but the fact that the story is supposed to be ridiculous doesn’t change the primary problem I had with it. It sets a terrible tone for the show moving forward. Like in the original series, Magnum is staying at the estate of the, as of yet unseen, author. Magnum’s friends include Zachary Knighton from Happy Endings as Orville “Rick” Wright, Stephen Hill as Theodore “TC” Calvin, and Domenick Lombardozzi of The Wire as Sebastian Nuzo. You may be thinking to yourself, “Wait a minute. I never saw ‘Herc’ from The Wire in any of the commercials for this show.” Congratulations. You’ve just figured out which of the friends gets killed in this episode. The rest are… fine. Hill is barely in the episode, and, though it’s nice to see Knighton getting work, he has a limited presence here and is mainly used to gloss over narrative shortcuts via his ‘connections’. If I were to pick an actual standout among the cast it would be Perdita Weeks as Juliet Higgins, a gender swapped counterpart to Thomas Magnum’s original foil Jonathan Higgins. Like the others, the script doesn’t do her any significant favors, but her snarky comments at Magnum’s expense occasionally land well, and she has the best action scene of the episode.

The production is rather sloppy. There is some pretty bad CG effects work in both the opening and closing of the episode, and, despite the show’s pedigree, it lacks a distinct sense of style. An early line in the show clued me in (like a cinder block to the face) to the fact that this show shared its universe with Hawaii Five-O, and whenever the character, played by Sung Kang, who made that reference showed up I found myself getting annoyed because it served to remind me that CBS is apparently setting up a Rebootiverse. That and all his lines were gratingly unsubtle. He’s a hardened by-the-book cop who has no patience for Magnum’s freewheeling attitude. I couldn’t groan hard enough. Furthermore, can we just strike “Thunderstruck” from the list of songs that are allowed in TV shows? I’m not asking for subtlety from this show, but is it too much to ask for a sense of style that didn’t feel ripped off from a million other things? The core mystery for this episode is nonexistent. Magnum’s friend gets killed. He was hired by some dishonorably discharged Marines. They killed him for the information he had uncovered. It’s all point A to point B to point C storytelling. There are no twists or turns and, for the narrative to be a proper mystery, it would need to offer viewers the opportunity to figure things out for themselves. Then there are the ‘emotional’ moments where we get hints of Magnum’s tragic backstory, glimpses of how good a person he is, and see him connect with the people surrounding him. These all suck. Some suck more than others, but perhaps nothing illustrates the perplexing mess that this show represents more than how frustrating it was to sit through the “Magnum’s really a good guy,” moments.

Before I wrap up, a few Notes and Nitpicks:

• James Remar shows up as Magnum’s former commanding officer. He’s a hardened veteran officer who has no patience for Magnum’s freewheeling-… *groan* Nevermind.
• My two favorite parts of this episode were when Higgins fought off the two former Marines and when, in the dumb-as-rocks opening car chase, Magnum surprises the soldiers by exiting a garage by driving the car through the side wall.
• The narration by Magnum isn’t as bad as what was seen in MacGyver, but it rarely adds anything, and ultimately detracts through its cheesiness.
• I didn’t refer back much to the original Magnum P.I. series, but, as was the case with MacGyver, I’ve never gone back and watched any of it. As such, if I got any details regarding that show incorrect, I apologize.
• From what I understand, the identity of the author, Robin Masters, whose estate Magnum lives on & who sounded suspiciously like Orson Welles was something of a mystery in the original series with characters often wondering if Masters and Higgins were secretly the same person. While Masters remains unseen and unheard in this pilot, the show immediately kneecaps any potential mystery by revealing that the entire team has met Robin Masters from his time as a reporter. The most they could pull off would be the reveal of a surprise celebrity cameo, and Tom Selleck seems disinterested.
• Peter M. Lenkov serves as writer and producer for this show, as he did with the Hawaii Five-O and MacGyver reboots. Frankly, when I look back at his body of work, I find myself asking how he is still finding employment. *cough* Ecks vs. Sever *cough*