Sky Wizards Academy First Impressions

I wasn’t even done with the pre-opening scene of Sky Wizards Academy before I was overwhelmed with a sense of deja vu. Well, perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that it was a combination of deja vu and horror. Sky Wizards Academy, or Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan in Japanese, is World Break: Aria of Crust for a Lonely Floormat… again.  It is the same damn experience, to the point that I almost considered copying and pasting my review of Squirrel Flake’s first episode from two seasons ago. Now, before I get into the thick of it, let me state that, strictly speaking, Sky Blizzard Academy is better than Swirled Cake. That isn’t saying much, mind you. The only thing it needed to do to be better is avoid having the main character be involved in past-life incest or avoid having him motorboat a girl for a minute and a half. Mission accomplished.

The big problem with High Lizard Anatomy is that, aside from avoiding those two colossal pitfalls, it really doesn’t do much different. Like Curled Quake, it starts off in a flashforward or possibly flashback (There isn’t enough professionalism in the world to make me care enough to figure out which.) in which our main character is facing off against some ludicrous monster. In this case, that monster is a Devil Beetle, a gigantic beetle that wipes the existence of anyone that it kills from the minds of non-powered people. This is the level of writing that we’re working on. Get used to it. After the opening, we’re treated to some administrators for the titular (Given the number of ‘attractive’ females there, be grateful that I avoided the obvious pun.) Sky Wizards Academy talking about a trio of problem students.

For the sake of not remembering their names, I’m going to be referring to the three problem students as Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic can probably already guess what the key personality traits each of them possesses, but, in case you are not, I will go over them anyway. Also, I want it to be clear that this show is not even close to being as subtle as My Little Pony when it comes to characterization. Applejack is the active and forceful leader of team E601. Despite her can-do attitude, she has never won a practice match. Next, we have Rarity, a self-obsessed purple-haired narcissist who claims to be a god amongst mortals, makes out with her own reflection, and refuses to bother with assignments. Finally, there is Fluttershy, a character so meek that every line she says takes so long to get out that it feels like pulling teeth.

Our main character is called in to try and get the unit into a functioning condition, but it would appear that he is considered a pariah by most members of the academy and is often referred to as “traitor.” On his way to meet with the administrators, he, by shocking and hilarious coincidence, happens to run into all three members of the team. Through a series of annoying misunderstandings (that our main character does nothing to clarify) each of the students reaches the conclusion that he is a pervert. Any anime that sets up a misunderstanding to convince a female character that our main character is a pervert is going to earn some ire from me. An anime that does it three times in a goddamn row is absolutely fucking GUARANTEED to piss me off! It’s lazy, contrived, and not at all funny. The episodes ends with our main character revealing himself to his team, only to have them call him a pervert and point weapons at him. Let the inanity commence.

Before I wrap up, a few Notes and Nitpicks:

• The art design for this series is atrocious. The giant beetles that are supposed to be the primary threat look like crap knockoffs of monsters from Blue Gender, the character designs are generic and lack anything distinctive about them, and I’m pretty sure that the train car that main character gets on midway through the episode is moving at a different frame rate from everything else.

• Who the hell would wash their pants off in an outdoor sink?

• In case my comparisons seemed unwarranted, Sky Wizards Academy has the same production studio, director, and writer that were behind World Break: Aria of Curse for a Holy Swordsman.

• I do apologize for this being less professional than normal. Normally, I would take the time to look up characters names, analyze the dialogue, and present the pros and cons of the work, but this is banal to the point of being frustrating. Plus, the fact this is the same team that was behind World Break only exacerbates the irritation.

The only positive things I have to say about Dry Gizzards Cavity are in regards the ways that it is slightly better than Furled Rake. It doesn’t appear to have incestuous themes, it has less fan service, and… I honestly was planning on listing three things, but I can’t think of a third. This is irritatingly bad, and I honestly can’t think of anything to recommend about it.