Ninja Turtles Movie Casts Turtles

I don’t know about you folks out there, but even with the recent news of Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles sodomizing moving forward I am still holding out hope that this movie will crash and burn and Bay will go down with the ship. It’s not that hard to, especially now that we have our Turtles.

Deadline is reporting that all four of the heroes in a half-shell have been cast:

Leonardo will be played by Pete Ploszek, a guy who’s only had two roles on one episode of two shows.

Donatello will be played by Jeremy Howard, Cindy Lou Who’s tall brother from How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

Michelangelo will be played by Noel Fisher, the blonde Russian disco ball from Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Raphael will be played by Alan Ritchson, Aquaman from Smallville.

God help us.